Firsts
by CheyWolfe
Summary: After a big fight, Soubi admits things about his past and later is plagued with nightmares. Ritsuka, coming to the realization that he needs to change, buys Soubi a pair of fake ears to try to make things better and help Soubi with the healing process.
1. Chapter 1

It was their first fight. Their first yelling, screaming fight, both of them shouting at each other so loudly that the people living below their apartment called the police on them. It was the first time Soubi had ever fought with his master, the first time he'd ever yelled at Ritsuka and argued with him and gotten angry with him. When the police came, Soubi just locked himself in the bathroom and sat in the bathtub, letting Ritsuka deal with the police. He understood Ritsuka's point of view just fine; that wasn't the problem at all. It was just that Ritsuka had no idea what he was asking of Soubi.

Soubi listened to Ritsuka bang at the bathroom door, the anger slowly fading from his voice and turning into desperation. He pleaded for him to come out, apologizing again and again for saying what he did, even resorting to collapsing at the door, crying and begging. Soubi couldn't do anything and didn't want Ritsuka seeing him in the state he was in. His fight with Ritsuka had brought up all those bad memories again. For a couple hours he simply sat in the bathtub like a little kid, holding his ears and trying to block out all those memories and thoughts about his pathetic life.

Their fight had been about how Soubi never shared anything about his past. Ritsuka didn't understand why. He thought that Soubi simply didn't want him to know or that Soubi had forgotten a lot. He didn't seem to understand that there was a distinction between forgetting, choosing to forget, and wanting desperately to forget. When Soubi looked away and said 'I don't remember' when Ritsuka asked him who his first kiss was, it didn't actually mean that he didn't remember. It meant that Soubi remembered, but wanted to forget. He also didn't want to tell Ritsuka. Why would Ritsuka want to know his first kiss had been with someone forty years his senior and it had been when he was four? Or that the first person he ever dated was him, Ritsuka, and that Soubi was pathetic enough to never have dated anyone else? Soubi knew that Ritsuka would judge him if he knew. He liked the way Ritsuka looked up to him and loved him for being the tall, strong man who was interesting and loving. He wasn't so sure what Ritsuka would think of Beaten and Abused Soubi.

Eventually, Ritsuka stopped banging on the door and simply cried, moving away from the bathroom, probably to sit on the bed. Soon afterwards, Soubi found himself again and came out of the bathroom. He stood in the doorway, watching Ritsuka sit on the bed and cry into a fleece blanket, the boy not even looking up when Soubi sat on the bed beside him.

Soubi placed a hand on the back of Ritsuka's neck, letting the boy know he was there. "Ritsuka, do you know who my first real kiss was?" He asked softly, rubbing the back of Ritsuka's neck.

Ritsuka looked up at him, his eyes blotchy and bloodshot. Tears still rolled down his face, and Soubi reached out, gently wiping them away with the sleeve of his shirt. Ritsuka grabbed Soubi's wrist suddenly, as if to try to keep him from getting away and escaping into the bathroom again. "No," He answered, his voice shaking and quivering with the sobbing that was still coming out in short intervals. "Who?"

Soubi wanted to smile at him, but he couldn't bring himself to. He curled his fingers around Ritsuka's, holding his much smaller hand in his own. He met Ritsuka's teary eyes, speaking slowly, "It was you, Ritsuka. When we met."

Ritsuka yanked his hand back, scowling and then turning completely away from Soubi. "Liar," He hissed, not looking back at Soubi, who could still see him wiping his eyes.

"I'm not lying to you," Soubi tried again, reaching for the boy's hand again. "I wish I was, though." Ritsuka moved his hand out of Soubi's reach with a soft growl. Soubi backed off, not wanting to get bitten by the cat.

"Please, Ritsuka."

Ritsuka hadn't called him a liar in a long time and it hurt, especially since Soubi wasn't lying. This is what Ritsuka had demanded from him in their fight, and now he was getting it. Maybe it wasn't in the way he wanted, but it was the truth in all its glory. Or un-glory, Soubi thought bitterly.

Ritsuka was just going to think he was pathetic after this. He knew what the boy wanted. He wanted to hear that Soubi had had a somewhat normal life. He wanted stories of Soubi in high school and tales of falling in love and the heartbreak that followed. He wanted to hear fairytales of brave, heroic Soubi, not the kid who'd been too afraid to say no and too terrified to tell. Ritsuka thought that his past was just like any other guy's off the street, but more exciting. He expected great things, and all Soubi had to tell of were the nightmares that still haunted him today. He'd be let down. He'd lose the respect and love he had for the Fighter.

"You're lying," Ritsuka muttered, sniffling. "Stop. Just go away."

"Please look at me."

"No!" Ritsuka sobbed, his face in his hands. Soubi reached out for him again, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. All he wanted was to see Ritsuka's face so he could comfort the boy and get him to stop crying. He knew he had to talk to him. The way the fight had started was from Ritsuka finding Soubi looking at a photograph of a blonde woman. He'd asked who it was and then when Soubi wouldn't tell him, he'd immediately thought that it was a girlfriend Soubi couldn't let go of, which had led to the fight about his past.

"Ritsuka, I'm not lying to you!" Soubi's grip tightened on Ritsuka's shoulder, squeezing tightly as he remembered all the forced kisses, all the times he'd been kissed violently and was too young to know what was going on. "You were my first kiss. All the other ones don't count."

"…And why not?" Ritsuka snapped, clearly still angry.

Soubi pulled away from him, wishing he could stop right here and never have to relive those memories. "They were forced. I was four, Ritsuka. I didn't know what was happening to me. I didn't know why He would pin me down and shove his tongue in my mouth. Even when I got older, He still never asked if I wanted it or not."

"Wha…?" Ritsuka finally, _finally_ turned to look at Soubi. The older male couldn't bring himself to look into Ritsuka's eyes. He know what he'd see there—pity and loss of respect. It would just hurt even more to see it. Ritsuka spoke again, after silence from Soubi filled a few long moments, "…Soubi?"

"Do you want to know who the first person I dated was?" Soubi continued on. Maybe Ritsuka understood now and would tell Soubi to stop. He'd wanted to know the truth. He was getting the truth. It just wasn't what he wanted to hear. Soubi wasn't going to stop, though, unless Ritsuka told him to. He could only pray to a god he didn't believe in that Ritsuka would have the sense to do so.

"That woman?" Ritsuka guessed, quietly, gently. His anger had seemingly disappeared, along with his sadness. When Soubi dared to make eye contact with him, he saw curiosity, instead of the disappointment he expected.

"No, Ritsuka, it was you. Do you really want to know who that woman was?" Soubi dropped Ritsuka's gaze, wanting to hold Ritsuka's hand instead, but was too afraid to ask or to just take it. The last thing he wanted was to be rejected by Ritsuka, the first person he had ever truly loved. He was scared, scared that Ritsuka would leave after hearing this, even if it was only for a few days to think things over. He understood why Ritsuka would want some time to digest everything he was going to hear, he just didn't want him to leave while he did so. The simple thought of being alone just terrified Soubi.

Ritsuka hesitated, but then nodded. He wiped his eyes again, destroying the proof that he'd been crying just minutes before. "Please tell me, Sou," He whispered, using the nickname he sometimes called Soubi by.

"That was my mother, Ritsuka," Soubi sighed, taking a deep breath before going on. He fought off the images and memories of the explosion. The smell, oh god, he could still remember the scent of burnt flesh and burning petroleum. Then there were the screams of his parents, of the firemen, of the other drivers, all of them yelling but not one of them able to pull Soubi or his parents out in time.

"Your…your mother?" Ritsuka stammered, guilt filling his face. Soubi only nodded, knowing that that picture, one of the only remaining photos of her, was destroyed. Ritsuka had ripped it up out of anger. At that point, Soubi had nearly broken down.

"She and my father died in a car explosion when I was four," Soubi told Ritsuka. That was the one thing Soubi remembered about his parents—that explosion. That, and the fact that they'd loved him and he'd been happy. After that, he'd forgotten the meaning of being happy, only to rediscover it when he met Ritsuka.

Ritsuka just stared at him, wide eyed, astonished. Soubi wanted to move in and close the distance between them. He wanted to hug the boy until the pain of this entire ordeal passed. Perhaps now he'd understand why it was hard to talk about his past. It was easier to focus on the present, the present here with Ritsuka. That was all he wanted to focus on. He'd tear his own soul out if it meant stopping all the pain. He wanted to ignore it and make it fade far, far away. Ritsuka made that all go away.

"You know Ritsu-sensei, Ritsuka?"

Ritsuka just nodded.

It took Soubi a moment before he could go on, but he somehow found the strength to do so, "He was the person my parents left to look after me. Do you know what he did to me, Ritsuka? Do you know why I don't speak to him anymore?"

"No, I…I don't, Soubi. What happened?" Ritsuka put his hand over Soubi's, his smaller hand covering Soubi's. He moved a bit closer, fully taking his hand in his own, making it so they were so close that their legs were touching.

"He was the one who would hold me down and kiss me when I was young. Ritsuka…" Soubi whispered, leaning on him a little. "You've seen the whip scars on my back. Those aren't all from your brother." He closed his eyes, putting his head on Ritsuka's shoulder and nuzzling his neck briefly. Ritsuka froze, but Soubi just pressed a gentle kiss on his neck and pulled him into a tight hug. That was enough for tonight. Ritsuka was obviously shocked by what Soubi had told him. He'd tell him more later.

…

It was a day later when Soubi finally gathered the nerve to tell more. They were laying on the couch, supposedly watching a movie, though Soubi was paying too much attention to the way Ritsuka had absentmindedly placed a leg in-between Soubi's and would shift his position ever so slightly, so that he rubbed his thigh against Soubi's crotch. He had no idea whether or not Ritsuka knew he was doing it, but it was driving Soubi absolutely mad. The light, sometimes long, kisses didn't exactly help, either.

In order to keep himself in a mostly un-aroused state, he let his mind wander again, and where it went was straight to the fight and the conversation that had followed. He'd told Ritsuka of his first kiss, his first date, his parents, and a bit about Ritsu. He hadn't said anything on the topic of his ears, and he knew Ritsuka was wondering, but too afraid to ask. He probably suspected that it was something else pathetic, just like everything else in Soubi's past.

"Ritsuka," Soubi said quietly, shaking the boy laying on his chest lightly. Ritsuka hadn't moved in a few minutes and his breathing had evened out, telling Soubi he was most likely asleep. "Ritsuka," He tried again, shaking him a bit harder. Ritsuka made a sound, batted at his hands, and went back to sleep. Soubi laughed, trying to think of ways to get his tired, irritated kitten up. He didn't think Ritsuka had slept well the previous night, most likely kept up by Soubi himself, since he'd had nightmares. However, Ritsuka had attempted to comfort Soubi instead of just going with the easy choice and sleeping on the couch.

"Ritsuka, I have something important to tell you," Soubi shook him again, making sure to be gentle.

This got the sleepy teen's attention, and he finally opened his big violet eyes and looked up at Soubi, "What is it?"

It took Soubi a moment to gather the courage to tell Ritsuka. He was revealing the secret he'd told nobody, not even Kio. Thinking about it hurt, brought back memories of not having anyone to run to or any place to go, since Ritsu had been his legal guardian. He hadn't been able to run away, either, since he couldn't drive a car and there were surveillance cameras all over the campus. He couldn't hide in his dorm room, as that was the place where Ritsu had violated him the most. The closest Soubi had had to some sort of 'safe' place was his dorm room's closet.

"I've never had sex," Soubi averted his eyes from Ritsuka's, reaching over stroke a kitten ear before he was slapped away. He then returned his eyes to a very angry, tired kitten.

"You don't have to lie to me to get me to wake up," He frowned, glaring, before lifting himself off Soubi's chest and beginning to stalk off to the bedroom. Soubi caught his wrist, though, before he could get very far, and refused to let go of him.

Soubi looked Ritsuka in the eyes, although Ritsuka was clearly very angry at him. Perhaps he'd already forgotten what had happened after their fight and the way he'd jumped to conclusions then, as well, and had later felt bad about it. Maybe he really was convinced that Soubi had decided to joke around about such a serious topic. He didn't have his ears and tail, after all, so that was probably what it seemed like. Still, it hurt to be accused of being a liar when he was trying to tell Ritsuka the thing he hid deep, deep inside.

"I'm being serious," Soubi insisted, keeping a good hold on Ritsuka's wrist. He silently pulled the boy back, though Ritsuka fought and yanked back. Soubi took his other wrist in his other hand, making it so Ritsuka was trapped in front of him. Ritsu had done this to him a million times, though much more violently. He'd take both of Soubi's wrists in his hand, pin them above him, hold him down, and smirk, telling him that there was no escaping, no hope left.

"That isn't the sort of thing to joke around about, Soubi!" Ritsuka snapped, pulling and pulling, attempting his escape. "I'm tired! I just want to go to bed!"

"Then listen to me and I'll let you go to bed!" Soubi shot back, pulling Ritsuka closer. He felt exactly like Ritsu, trying to keep a teenager from running away from him by using his strength and forcing him to stay, even when Ritsuka was saying no and trying to get away. He had to stay. Soubi had something to say and he was going to _make_ Ritsuka listen to him. This was what the boy had wanted, wasn't it? He'd asked for a passage into his memories so he could finally piece together who Soubi really was. He was just giving him what he'd wanted.

Ritsuka still didn't relax, still didn't stop pulling. He was a younger Soubi, trying desperately to get away from a man forcing him to do something he didn't want. That meant Soubi was Ritsu. He still couldn't let go of Ritsuka, though, even though he knew how bad this was, how much he reminded himself of the man he hated.

Ritsuka was yelling again, just like he'd been last night, too, "You have no ears! You and I both know you're not a virgin! Let go of me and just stop lying! Stop! I'm tired, Soubi! I just want to sleep right now!"

_"Stop! I'm tired, Sensei! I just want to sleep! Please let me go!"_

Soubi released Ritsuka, coming to the sudden realization of what he was doing. Ritsuka had fear in his eyes and he was tired, looking as though he was about to pass out. He just wanted to sleep and Soubi had… Soubi had done the exact same thing Ritsu had done to him. He hadn't pushed Ritsuka down and pinned him to the floor or the bed, but he'd still forced him to stay when he hadn't wanted to. Ritsuka had said no and Soubi hadn't listened.

Ritsuka stumbled backwards, as he'd still been pulling when Soubi let him go. He fell to the floor , landing on his butt with a yelp of pain. Soubi didn't look to see if he was alright, instead hiding his face in his hands. He was not like Ritsu. He was not like Ritsu. He was not like Ritsu.

"I…" Soubi muttered, wanting to get out of here so he couldn't hurt Ritsuka. "I never said I wasn't a virgin…"

"You said you'd never had sex…" Ritsuka reminded him quietly, most likely too surprised to yell anymore. Soubi just nodded, peaking at Ritsuka, finding the boy's expression confused and not angry.

"What did you…" Ritsuka began to ask, but never finished, since it seemed to dawn on him at that moment. Slowly, he sat up, his eyes trained on Soubi, the confusion still there, as well as something else. "You… you're not trying to tell me…?"

"I've never had sex," Soubi repeated again, hiding away from Ritsuka, unable to look at him. "But someone violated me when I was young…"

He heard Ritsuka get up, picked up the sound of his soft footfalls, felt a comforting, gentle had on his shoulder, and still did not look up. Ritsuka knew now. He was the first and only person who actually knew. Kio suspected, but did not know. This was the first time he'd ever told anyone. As a child, he had been too afraid to go tell one of the teachers or school counselors. All the other kids had known, as well, and had taunted Soubi, but hadn't cared enough to say anything.

"I'm sorry, Soubi," Ritsuka whispered, sitting in Soubi's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. "I… I can't believe I yelled at you like that. I shouldn't of….I really, really shouldn't of."

Soubi finally looked up, wrapping both arms around the teen, his thoughts still on the way he'd forced him to stay and listen to something he hadn't wanted to. He started apologizing to Ritsuka, nuzzling his love's neck and asking for forgiveness for acting just like Ritsu. Ritsuka had to tell him it was alright for five minutes before Soubi finally calmed down enough for Ritsuka to take him into the bedroom and shower him with affection until he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello.<strong>

**This was originally supposed to be a one shot, but then it reached over 13,000 words, so I split it into three chapters. I'm really, really happy with the outcome. Thank you to the awesome for reading through this on tumblr and giving me her wonderfully long opinoin on it. **

**Review for more~**

**~Wolfie**


	2. Chapter 2

…

"I'm home!" Ritsuka called out as he finally arrived at home after going grocery shopping after school, just like Soubi had asked him to. When he opened the door, threw the car keys on the counter and hauled the bags in, he found the main room of the small apartment empty—just as he expected. The doors to the shared bedroom were also closed, telling the teen that Soubi was taking a nap, just as he did most afternoons, probably due to his wild sleeping schedule.

Ritsuka paused, picking up the smallest of all the bags, hearing Soubi's quiet snoring. It was an entire week after Ritsuka had yelled at Soubi after jumping to conclusions when the man had told him he'd never had sex. He was still beating himself up over it. He'd seen that whatever Soubi was trying to tell him was painful. He had seen that clearly in his eyes and Soubi hadn't even tried to hide his hurt expression. Still, Ritsuka had gone ahead and _yelled_ at him, even after Soubi had taken both his wrists, looked straight into his eyes, and _told _him he was serious. Soubi had been in pain, and Ritsuka had been too focused on himself to notice or even figure out what he was being told.

It had happened a day before that, as well, when Ritsuka had outright screamed at Soubi for not sharing his past with him. He'd been angry at him, not knowing anything about his childhood, simply thinking that Soubi didn't think he was important enough to share his past with. Ritsuka had ignored the fact that his own brother had beat Soubi for every little thing, and had been angry enough to want to hit Soubi for arguing with him over such a little topic. Stupid, simpleminded Ritsuka. Why couldn't he have just accepted that Soubi's past might've been too painful to talk about? Why hadn't he realized that Soubi had probably been broken long before Seimei?

Sighing, Ritsuka began to put away the groceries, leaving some things out for Soubi to put away, since Ritsuka was still too short to reach the highest shelf. His mind still lingered on what Soubi had told him after locking himself in the bathroom. Soubi had been forced into things at an extremely young age. His parents had died when he was four and he had been forced into the care of Ritsu-sensei, the man who Soubi all-but refused to talk to now. Soubi hadn't needed to tell him that Ritsu was the one who'd raped him. It was obvious now.

The teen set the small bag on the counter, peeking into it again. He hoped Soubi would like it. He figured that it might bring up bad memories, but it also might help him through what had happened. He hoped it would mainly do the latter.

Ritsuka fished out the photograph from inside the bag, glancing at the doors to the bedroom again before going to the cabinet that no one opened and looking around inside it for a moment before finding the photo album he'd taken the photo from. After Soubi had admitted to Ritsuka that he'd been raped, Ritsuka had taken Soubi to the bedroom and stayed with him until he fell asleep. Afterwards, Ritsuka had stolen Soubi's keys out of his nightstand and had unlocked the cabinet no one was allowed to go into. The Zero boys had always speculated on what was in that cabinet, and the three of them (Natsuo, Youji, and Ritsuka) had always thought that there was probably a bunch of adult toys and magazines with naked teens that looked like Ritsuka. Turns out, they were wrong.

Ritsuka had never actually seen Soubi go into that cabinet himself, and that should've alerted him something was wrong. Inside that cabinet, he had found a bunch of photo albums and things from Soubi's past, such as his high school diploma and some past art projects. It was no wonder Soubi kept all those things locked up. He wanted to pretend like his past had never existed.

That night, Ritsuka had gone through every photo album in the cabinet as Soubi slept fitfully in the other room, having to kick the album under the couch every time Soubi woke up from a bad dream and came into the main room to make himself coffee. That night had been particularly terrible for him. The young man tried to be strong and accepted that he was the dominant person in their relationship, but during the night, he couldn't hide from his demons. There was nothing either of them could do about his bad dreams. Lately, they just seemed to be getting worse and Soubi seemed to be spending more nights barely sleeping at all.

Ritsuka flipped through the photographs in the album, sometimes pausing to look at a series of pictures. They were all in chronological order, and this album was when Soubi was about twelve. All the pictures were dated and the first half of the book seemed happy and lighthearted. Well, in the first half of the book, Soubi still retained his ears. It had shocked Ritsuka to see that he'd lost his ears so young and the change he'd gone though afterwards.

The change was so very sudden. In one picture, an energetic, twelve year-old stood in front of the camera, grinning and missing a couple of his back teeth. In the next, that same twelve year-old was shoving the camera away from him, looking older without his ears. The pictures were dated about a week apart. Ritsuka was currently looking for the place he'd taken the photo from. He hated to take something from Soubi without his knowledge, but it had been necessary in this case. Still, he didn't like hiding from him.

When he found the place the picture belonged in, he slipped it inside the clear sleeve and closed the book, replacing it in the cupboard and then pausing to take a look at the Seimei album. The pictures inside it were few and depressing. He hadn't seen Soubi smiling in any of them, and only one or two contained Seimei in them. Most were simply of Soubi and Kio on school trips, Kio always happy and Soubi never looking to be quite in the same place. Ritsuka frowned, closed the book, put it back, and locked the cupboard with Soubi's keys. It really was strange that he kept the key to the locked cupboard on his key ring. Then again, he barely ever let Ritsuka drive his car and the boy had his own house key, so Soubi probably had thought Ritsuka wouldn't need the keys much and would never figure out that the key to the mysterious cabinet was in such plain sight.

Ritsuka finally got up from his place on the floor, yawning and stretching. He hadn't slept much himself in the past week, since he usually stayed up with Soubi and tried to help him get back to sleep. The nightmares probably were his fault, since he was the one who'd made Soubi talk about his past. The least he could do was attempt to help him. Soubi seemed to be sleeping well now, so it'd probably be alright to go into the bedroom and nap with him. First he had something to do, though…

He swiped the bag off the table and quietly padded to the bedroom doors, opening them quietly and then shutting them and scampering to the bed even quieter. Soubi was sound asleep on the bed. He hadn't even bothered to get under the covers, something that concerned Ritsuka since it was winter and he didn't want Soubi to be cold. He set the bag on the bed and tiptoed to the closet, going inside and quickly finding a fleece blanket. He then climbed onto the bed himself, the bag and the folded blanket at his side. It was a good thing Soubi was sleeping on his side, a rare occurrence, really. If he hadn't been, Ritsuka didn't know how he would've pulled this off.

Soubi would surely freak out if he saw the bag Ritsuka had. It was from an adult store, and it would give Soubi a heart attack to know that teenage Ritsuka had lied about his age to a shady store manager and had been let inside a sex shop. They both knew that the boy was too young to be going into a place like that. Honestly, Ritsuka couldn't deny that it was amusing to predict what Soubi would say if he knew. He'd probably be too shocked to say anything, and once he was out of shock, he'd most likely scold Ritsuka a little, then go yell at the store manager. Soubi could be a little overprotective at times. He didn't like his territory being tainted by someone else.

Making sure to make almost no noise, Ritsuka reached inside the plastic bag, bringing out the life-like fake cat ears and tail. It had really annoyed him that he'd had to go all the way to a sex store to get them. Shouldn't these things be sold at a drug store or something? With the amount of teens his age wearing fake ears, he'd thought so.

These ears and tail were special, though. Once they were placed on someone, they took a moment to calibrate themselves to the person, and then they were fully life-like. They moved according to motion, sound, and even emotion, which they sensed from the amount of heat radiating off a person's body. Ritsuka had taken the photograph of Soubi to make sure that he got the right color and style. Luckily, the shop had had a large selection of cat ears and tails, most that were simple and very fake looking, but some that didn't look fake at all. Ritsuka had made sure to pick the most life-like kind. The fake-looking ones were clearly just sex toys, while the life-like ones were made for the purpose of hiding the loss of one's ears. Even he wouldn't be able to tell the difference once he slipped them on Soubi.

Ritsuka smoothed back Soubi's hair, thinking that he should probably get it trimmed back to his shoulders again. Soubi always hated getting haircuts. Ritsuka usually had to tell him they were going out to a game store and then drag him to get his hair cut. Soubi could be so stubborn sometimes.

Thankfully, Soubi didn't wake or even stir when Ritsuka leaned over to get the brush off the nightstand and brushed Soubi's hair back so that he could put the headband on. It was a blonde-colored, soft material that Ritsuka could easily put on Soubi without him awakening. Even when he did wake up, he probably wouldn't feel the headband, since it was so lightweight. He'd only feel the weight of the ears.

As Ritsuka slipped the headband on Soubi, he wondered if Soubi missed his ears. In the past week, Ritsuka had seen Soubi sometimes reach up and feel the top of his head as if looking for the ears that were no longer there. Soubi had always done this, Ritsuka knew, he'd just never really noticed it. Could he still feel his ears? Perhaps it was similar to when someone lost a limb in a battle and they could still feel the lost limb. Soubi had unwillingly lost his ears, so maybe it still felt like they were there.

Once the headband was on, Ritsuka took the two ears out of the bag and looked at them for a moment, comparing the color to Soubi's hair color. Ritsuka didn't doubt Soubi was an albino, with his pale skin, pale hair, and pale blue eyes, as well as his bad eyesight. It was hard to find such a pale blonde color for the ears that looked completely natural, and even harder to find ears with the correct skin color inside the ear. He'd done it, though, after nearly an hour of searching.

He clipped the ears onto the designated spots on the headband, watching them stand straight up and then twitch before laying back on Soubi's head, sensing that he was asleep. Ritsuka smoothed Soubi's hair back over the headband, fixing it so that it was in a natural-looking position. He sat back on his feet, looking at what he'd done. He couldn't even tell Soubi had the headband on. The ears looked so natural, and Ritsuka smiled, thinking that this is what Soubi would've looked like if Ritsu-sensei hadn't raped him.

Ritsuka reached forward, stroking Soubi's ears. They didn't just look real—they felt real, too. He almost wanted to wake Soubi up and ask him if he liked them. He didn't, though, since he still had to put the tail on. Besides, Soubi was sleeping well for the first time in a week. He didn't want to ruin that.

He leaned forward to kiss Soubi before moving to Soubi's other side in order to put his tail on. The tail had probably been even harder to find than the ears, due to Soubi having an extremely fluffy, long tail, something that Ritsuka had never seen on anyone else. He'd successfully found the right kind of tail, though, one that didn't require… to be put inside. To Ritsuka's amusement, and to fuel some of his wild fantasies, the tail _did_ come with an… attachment for that.

The tail was much easier to get on than the ears, since all Ritsuka had to do was pin it on the back of Soubi's jeans, right where the tail hole would be if he actually had a tail. The tail had the same capabilities as the ears and instantly wrapped around Soubi's leg, stilling as Soubi slept peacefully. Ritsuka smiled again, thinking that he couldn't tell that the ears and tail were fake. They looked real and were in natural positions, the ears even twitching when Ritsuka reached out to touch them again.

The boy unfolded the blanket and placed it over Soubi, immediately calming his slight shivering. Ritsuka took the book laying crushed against Soubi's chest and smoothed out its pages, placing it on the man's nightstand. He emptied the sex shop bag of the rest of its contents, turning red as he looked at the other things. Lately, their relationship had been moving more towards the sexual side, so Ritsuka had curiously bought some special lotion/lubricant, as well as some other…things, things that he'd been extremely embarrassed to find. If Soubi found out that he'd bought a sex toy for himself, he'd probably have a stroke.

He scooped up the other things, placed them back in the bag, and put them in the drawer of his own nightstand. He then laid next to Soubi, taking one of his arms and placing it around him, cuddling close to him. He still felt terrible for fighting with him. Why was he always so self-centered and simpleminded? He needed to change. What had happened had been terrible. Soubi had been trying to tell him something, something about himself, something to do with his past, and Ritsuka had yelled at him and rejected him.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka whispered, apologizing again. He'd hurt Soubi. He'd known how hard Soubi's life had been and he went ahead and yelled at him. It hadn't even been Soubi's fault at all. He'd hurt Soubi, rejected him when he was trying to tell him something that was probably hard for him to think about. From the way Soubi had told him, it had sounded as if he'd never told anyone, as if he'd kept it a secret all his life. That kind of secret could eat away at a person like nothing else… Soubi had trusted him enough to tell him his deepest secret and all Ritsuka had done was yell at him for it. He honestly wouldn't blame Soubi if he never told him anything again…

Soubi pressed close against him, his chest against Ritsuka's back, his chin on the younger's shoulder. He could feel Soubi's tail flick across his leg and then settle over him, the tip still twitching, just barely brushing his crotch. Ritsuka sighed, trying to ignore that twitching tail. Despite his thoughts and attempts to ignore it, he couldn't help but to get aroused. At least Soubi could control himself. Ritsuka, being a teen in puberty, really couldn't.

He stayed still, letting his eyes fall shut. He was pretty tired, as well. Soubi always told him that if his restlessness bothered him, he'd let Ritsuka have the bed and he'd go sleep on the couch. Soubi was so selfless. Ritsuka wished he could be more like him. That way he wouldn't hurt Soubi anymore. Before, he'd thought that Soubi was the one who needed to change and be more open about his past, but now he saw that it was he, Ritsuka, who needed to change. He needed to understand that Soubi had been through a lot and was slowly but surely healing from all of it. When Soubi talked about his past, Ritsuka needed to listen and not jump to conclusions. And if Soubi didn't want to talk about it, then Ritsuka needed to respect that and not force him into talking.

"…Ritsuka…?"

Ritsuka rolled over to face Soubi, watching him slowly wake up and blink his blue eyes open. Soubi hugged him close, smiling, probably not noticing anything different yet, just confirming Ritsuka's theory. Soubi hadn't noticed the weight of the ears yet because he could still feel them there, even though he'd lost them over ten years before.

"Did you sleep alright?" Ritsuka kept his eyes closed, though he did smile. It was good to see Soubi happy, especially after the last few nights. He had been a little more distant, as well, during the day, something that really concerned Ritsuka.

"I did," Soubi nuzzled his neck and then froze, clearly realizing something was off. They could both hear Soubi's tail thumping happily on the bed and then there was silence as it stopped. Soubi pulled away slightly, looked behind him, and then back at Ritsuka, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Ritsuka turned red, looking away from him before taking one of Soubi's hands and bringing it up to his head, making him feel his ears. The confusion cleared from Soubi's face and he was silent, though he seemed to understand. Ritsuka had expected that. Soubi was much better and faster at understanding things than Ritsuka was.

Ritsuka waited for Soubi to say something. He had no idea if he would like or hate his idea. It was worth a try, at least, and he could only hope Soubi wouldn't get angry at him for it. He just wanted to try to make up for what he'd done to Soubi.

Before he knew it, he was being pulled in for a kiss. It wasn't the chaste, short kisses they shared all the time, it was one of the long, sweet kisses with tongues and moans. Soubi lapped at his lips, coaxing him into an open-mouthed kiss. With Soubi, the kisses were never harsh or unwanted. They were always sweet and gentle, though still sexy. He opened his mouth, letting Soubi in, giving him what he wanted. He still didn't understand exactly what Soubi was trying to say by kissing him. Did he like the fake ears? Ritsuka really wished he was better at picking up Soubi's way of communication. Soubi tended to show, not tell, or to say things in a slightly odd way. It wasn't that Ritsuka didn't like it, it was just that he needed to get better at deciphering it.

Ritsuka couldn't stop the little moan that came from him when Soubi rolled on top of him, kissing him a bit more fiercely. His tongue was in his mouth, exploring his mouth, getting Ritsuka to play with him. Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi, unable to resist running a hand down his back to stroke the base of his tail. Sadly, the kiss didn't last as long as Ritsuka would've liked it to, and Soubi pulled away after what felt like only moments. He rolled back to Ritsuka's side again, since Soubi's weight would probably crush him if he stayed on top of him for much longer.

Once he caught his breath, he found himself able to look back up at Soubi and what he saw shocked him. Soubi was smiling. Smiling. He was happy.

"You gave me back my ears, Ritsuka," Soubi said, still holding him close, so close. Soubi liked Ritsuka's idea, his gift, the thing Ritsuka had done to make up for his cruel, harsh words. Maybe now he could forgive himself for what he'd said. No…this still wasn't enough. It was good that Soubi had forgiven him so easily, but Ritsuka couldn't forgive himself yet. Those angry words on both occasions had been thrown at Soubi because Ritsuka had tried to force him into talking and had then rejected him and called him names and had _hurt _him. _He_ needed to change before he could forgive himself.

"Yeah," Ritsuka returned Soubi's smile, leaning up to gently kiss Soubi's soft cat ears. "They shouldn't disappear if you've never had sex." When Ritsuka looked at Soubi's face, he saw how much the ears seemed to belong on his head. They stood straight up, now, and his soft tail swayed, brushing across both of their bodies.

"If only it was purely psychological instead of physical…" Soubi trailed off, clearly deep in thought. For a little while they just stayed in the position, laying on the bed facing each other, arms around each other. After a bit, one of Soubi's hands moved down to Ritsuka's hip, his fingers curling around him there and bringing him even closer. It was then that Ritsuka felt something pushing against him.

"Good dreams?" Ritsuka guessed, opening his eyes again, having nearly fallen asleep. This was crossing into the territory they'd never gone into before. Ritsuka wasn't going to go off into the bathroom this time. He was ready, and he wanted to make the man he loved feel good. They both knew it wasn't time to go all the way. They would wait for that, but right now Ritsuka wanted to show Soubi what it was like when it wasn't forced or hurtful.

"About you," Soubi replied, sounding a bit tentative, as if he wasn't sure if this was okay. He grabbed Ritsuka's wrist as the teen reached for the button on his jeans, stopping him. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you," Ritsuka's eyes flickered back to Soubi's face, unsure why he'd stopped him. What was wrong? Had he done something to upset Soubi again? He just wanted to touch him, to help him see that sexual contact wasn't a bad thing. Usually when they got this far, either Ritsuka would go to the bathroom to masturbate or Soubi would push him away and lock himself in the bathroom.

Soubi, apparently having second thoughts, released Ritsuka's wrist and relaxed, watching him closely. His ears twitched, his tail swayed, and Ritsuka was suddenly reminded once again of the fact that Soubi had been _violated _when he was twelve and probably afterwards, too, since it had been Ritsu-sensei and Soubi had been in his 'care' until age seventeen. He hadn't been asked and Ritsuka hadn't asked him if this was okay yet. It was no wonder Soubi was so tense and unsure. He wouldn't know what to do unless he was asked. _That_ was why he'd never touched Ritsuka sexually. He'd been afraid and had probably reminded himself of Ritsu. They did have an age gap, after all, just like Soubi and Ritsu had. Granted, Soubi was only eight years Ritsuka's senior, but he was still considerably older, and the adult, whereas Ritsuka was still a teen. If he'd touched Ritsuka or had any sort of sexual encounter with him, he probably would've thought of himself as Ritsu, his abuser.

"Is this okay, Soubi?" Ritsuka asked, giving Soubi the option he'd never had. His hand was just centimeters away from the bulge in Soubi's jeans, close, but not touching him. He wanted to lean in and kiss him, tell him that it was alright because he wanted it. Soubi needed to see that he wasn't forcing this upon Ritsuka and that the boy just wanted to help him and love him.

"…Yeah, Ritsuka," Soubi finally answered. "It's… it's alright, if you want to do it."

Ritsuka smiled, seeing Soubi's cat ears pinned back against head. His tail still swayed, though slower now, brushing across Ritsuka's thighs. They just looked so real. Soubi hadn't seen himself in the mirror yet, so he didn't know what his opinion on his appearance was, but Ritsuka was sure he'd think the same thing Ritsuka did. They looked mechanical in no way at all. Their movements were fluid and the ears peeking out of Soubi's blonde hair looked like they simply belonged there.

Ritsuka unbuttoned Soubi's jeans and tugged down the zipper, feeling himself grow hard just from the excitement of this. He didn't take Soubi's jeans off, though, since his tail was attached to them. To his relief, Soubi wasn't wearing anything underneath, and a second later, his erection was free of his jeans, and Ritsuka could look and touch all he wanted. He leaned forward to kiss Soubi, and laid a cautious hand on the thick base of his cock, marveling at the feel. Having watched videos on the computer while Soubi was away, Ritsuka knew how to do this, though he'd never tried it on anyone but himself.

Ritsuka began to stroke lightly, hardly touching the long cock, but just enough to make Soubi's breathing speed up. Knowing that lubricant would probably be helpful in this situation, Ritsuka's hand left Soubi's erection and he rolled over, reaching into the nightstand for the bottle of lubricant he'd bought while at the sex shop. Hopefully Soubi would be too gone to realize _where _Ritsuka got the special kind of lubricant from.

Kissing Soubi on the lips again, Ritsuka squirted a good amount on his hands, knowing that this would feel better than his bare hands. He'd bought a special kind at the store, too curious about it to pass it up. Now was the perfect time to try it. The bottle said it was supposed to get warm and feel different, tingly.

"Are you okay?" Ritsuka questioned, seeing Soubi's eyes close the moment he touched his cock again. He began to rub his hands up and down, spreading the lubricant all over the hot, hard flesh, giving Soubi wanted pleasure for the first time. When they'd shared that very first kiss at the park, Ritsuka hadn't known that that had also been Soubi's first kiss, as well. When they'd gone out on their first date, Ritsuka hadn't known that it was Soubi's first date, too. He hadn't known that he was Soubi's first love. He did know, now, though, that he was the first person to touch Soubi like this when he wanted it. He also knew that he would be the first person Soubi would have sex with, when they decided to go that far.

Soubi let out a rather loud moan when Ritsuka rubbed him harder. The boy now had his fingers wrapped around the slick length and was moving his hand up and down the smooth flesh. He wasn't going very fast, since he wanted to take things slow, but he assumed he was doing well since he already had Soubi moaning. He was contemplating moving down so he could lick his weeping cock's head, but that would mean moving away from his lips. He'd try using his mouth another time. Now, he wanted to see Soubi's face, to be able to kiss his lips and stroke his cat ears.

"Ah…Ritsuka…What…" Soubi opened his eyes a little, clearly trying to ask Ritsuka something. He cleared his throat, opened his eyes a bit more, regaining his composure, and then spoke again. "What'd you use as lubricant?" Another moan came from him, a low one that made Ritsuka's cock twitch and ache in his pants.

"I got it at a…store," Ritsuka lied, forgetting that he was an absolutely terrible liar and that Soubi could always tell when he was lying. Well, he knew that Soubi was going to find out where he'd gone one way or another. Soubi narrowed his eyes, suspicious, though Ritsuka had chosen to speed up the pace right at that moment. He pumped Soubi's cock, moving his hand up and down at a fast pace. Curiously, he brought his other hand in as well, stroking the pink mushroom head. Pre-cum dripped from the tip, droplets of the clear liquid falling onto his fingers.

Soubi moaned more, groaning out Ritsuka's name again and again, the word tumbling from his lips, that and the throbbing of his member letting Ritsuka know he was close. Then, quietly, almost inaudibly, he whispered something:

"I want to touch you."

* * *

><p><strong>Here's the second part of this story. Only one more to go! I hope this makes up for Ritsuka's harshness in the first chapter. I always wanted to read a fic where Ritsuka gives Soubi back his ears. I also hope the sex scene didn't ruin the atmosphere. Also, yes, I purposely don't state Ritsuka's age. I just give clues like he's enough to drive, but not old enough to have his lisencedrive alone and he's not old enough to go into an adult toy store, but he's old enough to look as though he's eighteen. **

**Thanks to LYRICA, Starsforher, Lolita, Ritsuka-chan1092, Gurgicalcipher, Luckless-is-me, CrapXhead, Nie2294, Promocat, Freya01, Kenn-chan, Tlcatlady, and Tamer Lorika for being wonderful reviewers : THank you all so much and I hope you all review again : **

**Special thanks to Melee, Snipes, and . Melee because she lets me use her internets, Snipes because he amuses me and forces me to work and is then a distraction, and QC because she's awesome and read through this entire fic for me.**

**Review for more!  
><strong>

**~wolfie**


	3. Chapter 3

One of Soubi's hands was at the front of his pants, deft fingers undoing his belt and pulling it off with strange sort of experience. Ritsuka didn't doubt he'd been forced into giving hand jobs and oral sex at a very young age. He also did not doubt that he still remembered it clearly. Soubi had tried to lock up his entire past in that cupboard, but he still had his memories. They were making new memories, now, memories that Ritsuka hoped Soubi wouldn't want to lock away and pretend like they never existed.

"Then touch me," Was Ritsuka's breathless reply, giving Soubi the permission that he wanted and needed. He undid Ritsuka's pants, pulling them down to his knees with odd speed. He did the same with his boxers, causing the teen's cock to spring out and stand straight up with want and need for his Fighter's hands. Soubi soon fulfilled his need, stroking him just as fast as Ritsuka was going with Soubi's larger cock. As much as the boy wanted to close his eyes so that he could feel more of the bone shattering pleasure he was getting from this, he kept them open, wanting to see Soubi's expression as he came undone.

Soubi's hips were thrusting forwards, pushing into Ritsuka's welcoming hands. He was close, so very, very close. Ritsuka rubbed him fasted, pumped him harder, placing the thumb of his other hand at the slit of the head, rubbing in slow, small circles. He teased the vein underneath with his nails, making sure to be very gentle and that Soubi got nothing but pleasure from this. Neither could tell which moans came from whom. Ritsuka could feel himself on the edge of release, as well, having quickly been brought to near-orgasm by Soubi's talented hands.

That being said, it was Ritsuka who came first, Ritsuka who gave a final high-pitched yelp and shot his release all over Soubi. It felt amazing, bringing Ritsuka high, high up until he saw white and nothing else. The next thing he felt was Soubi nuzzling his neck, gasping and coming in Ritsuka's hands, stream after stream shooting from him and into the teen's awaiting hands.

Afterwards, they both lay together, a mess in the aftermath, holding each other, the closest they'd ever been. Soubi's ears and tail were twitching madly, as if the technology inside them couldn't figure out what was going on. It seemed very realistic, though, since Soubi was still breathing hard, his face pressed into Ritsuka's neck.

"You're going to have to let go of me," Ritsuka reminded him, running his fingers through his hair, gently pulling out the knots.

"Why?" Came Soubi's muffled reply. He probably didn't realize that they'd made quite the mess and one of them would have to clean it up before it stained their clothes and bedspread. Ritsuka was willing to do it, since he just wanted sleepy Soubi to rest. Maybe the nightmares wouldn't haunt him tonight.

"I have to clean up," Ritsuka told Soubi, yawning. God was he tired. Soubi was probably nearly passed out, though, and Ritsuka could already feel him start to loosen his tight hold around him, one of the first signs of Soubi falling asleep.

"I'll clean up," Soubi mumbled, making Ritsuka slightly annoyed. Sometimes Soubi could be a little _too_ selfless and would put Ritsuka over his own needs. He was so tired he was nearly blacking out and he was _still_ insisting on cleaning up.

Ritsuka just sighed and shook his head, making sure to be careful and gentle as he pushed a very limp, nearly asleep Soubi down on the bed, still having trouble doing so since he was so much bigger than the boy.

"I'm not tired," Soubi insisted, opening his eyes and grabbing Ritsuka's wrist. "See? I'm awake enough to realize that you didn't get my ears or the lubricant from the grocery store."

Ritsuka just laughed and then kissed Soubi lightly before getting off the bed, "But you're too sleepy to figure out where I got them from, which means you need to stay in bed, sleepyhead."

…

Ritsuka got up in the middle of the night once Soubi woke up and left the bedroom. He could never seem to sleep without Soubi, so it was useless staying in bed. He could hear Soubi in the other room, anyways, flipping on the lights and making a cup of coffee. Ritsuka couldn't seem to understand why he did that, since coffee was a stimulant and would just wake him up more. Perhaps it was to clear whatever nightmare he'd had from his memory.

Silently, Ritsuka sat up and stretched, casting a sideways glance at the warm pillow Soubi always tried to use as a substitute for him when he got up. Really, how did he expect Ritsuka to hold onto a pillow and think it was him? Sure, it was warm and carried the same scent, but it still wasn't the same. Ritsuka still felt Soubi's absence, even in his sleep, and always woke up minutes after Soubi left the bed. He didn't see why Soubi just didn't wake him up, too, though it probably had something to do with him always putting Ritsuka's needs above his own.

The boy rose from the bed and made his way to the French doors, opening one a crack to look into the main room. Soubi didn't notice and didn't move from his spot leaning over a counter in the kitchen. At a closer glance, Ritsuka saw that he was reading a book, something that Soubi often did after waking up from nightmares. It seemed to help clear his mind. Whatever helped was good, Ritsuka supposed, even if it would only keep him awake longer.

"Can't sleep?" Ritsuka guessed, padding into the kitchen, standing beside Soubi, watching him squint and try to read the book without his glasses on. Ritsuka hopped up on the counter, making it so that he and Soubi were eye-level. Over the years, Ritsuka really hadn't grown much and had found other ways to get up to Soubi's abnormal height, such as sitting on counters or tables or even using stepstools.

"Yeah," Soubi abandoned his book and instead paid attention to Ritsuka, smiling warmly. Ritsuka noticed he was still wearing his ears and tail, even though he'd changed into night clothes. His tail swished and his ears stood up, showing that he was happy. Ritsuka reached up and gently touched his ears.

"You still have them on," Ritsuka pointed out, loosely wrapping his arms around Soubi's neck, pulling him closer.

"I haven't had sex yet. I don't see why I should take them off. Am I allowed to keep them?"

That was one of the things that Soubi had been doing less and less. He asked for permission sometimes, something that showed that he wasn't used to being the dominant person in the relationship. He was used to being the submissive one, the one who had to ask to do anything or risk a beating. He appeared to be getting more comfortable in this role, though he still had slip ups occasionally. Ritsuka didn't mind. As long as Soubi was comfortable in their relationship.

Ritsuka nodded, curiously tweaking a twitching blonde kitten ear. He'd wondered, while buying them, if Soubi would look younger with them on. It turned out that he didn't. He still looked his age. Although, in Ritsuka's opinion, he thought Soubi looked better with them on, not that he wasn't extremely attractive anyways. It was more as if… something had been missing from him before, but he hadn't realized it until putting the ears on Soubi.

"Thank you, Ritsuka," Soubi kissed his nose, making Ritsuka turn red again. Soubi just laughed, which made Ritsuka smile. He loved Soubi's laugh even more than he loved his smile. It was even better when he was the one who made Soubi laugh. He could still remember a time, back when he was twelve and Soubi was twenty when Soubi would barely ever laugh or smile. He had always seemed simply _sad_ or irritated. After awhile, he'd begun to smile more often, mostly after Ritsuka started to become more open around him and even more so when he'd became comfortable with showing Soubi affection. In less than a year, he'd transformed Soubi from the gloomy, sad weird guy to the happy, loving man Ritsuka loved.

There were still things that Ritsuka needed to get better at. Soubi was fine the way he was. Over the years, he'd learned that it was alright to tell Ritsuka if the teen did something wrong and Ritsuka didn't mind when Soubi would tell him to do something. Soubi was good the way he was now. It was naïve Ritsuka who needed to change.

"I'm sorry you haven't been sleeping well lately," Ritsuka stated softly.

"It's not your fault," Soubi assured him, looking back over at his book, trying to read it again. He stayed standing in-between Ritsuka's legs, his arms casually and loosely around the teen's hips. Ritsuka made a note to drag Soubi to his third eye exam of the year and probably a yearly check-up at their doctor's office, two other things that Soubi absolutely hated. Ritsuka didn't like having to force him to go to those kind of things, but it was for Soubi's own well-being and Soubi would rather be nearly blind than go to a check-up, so Ritsuka thought it was okay to make him go.

Ritsuka sighed, "It is my fault, Soubi." Soubi had never had any sort of sleeping problem like this. Ritsuka had been living with him for over a year, now, and Soubi had only had nightmares once or twice a month. This past week, it'd been every night, sometimes multiple times a night. It didn't anger or irritate Ritsuka like it would some other people. He didn't mind staying up with Soubi. He just felt bad whenever it happened because he couldn't help. It was terrible to be so helpless when the person he loved was suffering.

"No, it isn't," Soubi said, not looking up from his book. Ritsuka, knowing that Soubi couldn't read something a foot in front of him without his glasses, shut the book, causing Soubi to look back at him.

"I made you talk," Ritsuka reminded him. He regretted what he'd done. If he'd only known… he wouldn't have yelled at Soubi like that. He should've listened when the man had said that he didn't want to talk.

"I made you talk and I didn't listen when you did try to tell me something," Ritsuka went on when Soubi was silent. "And…I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, especially after you tried to tell me how you lost your ears. I should've seen how hard it was for you to tell me that."

Soubi was still silent, but Ritsuka didn't take that as a negative sign.

"I'll never hurt you," Ritsuka promised, smiling a bit. "I'll try to change. No… I will change. I'll never force you into talking about what happened before we met. I'll never reject you. I'll never call you a liar again. I…I'll start listening better whenever you _do_ try to tell me something. I did something horribly, terribly wrong and I'll never do it again."

Soubi leaned in, their foreheads touching. Ritsuka let his eyes fall halfway shut, and his mind flew a mile a minute, hoping that Soubi forgave him and didn't blame himself anymore. Ritsuka was to blame.

"Hey, Ritsuka," Soubi whispered. "Let's go for a walk."

Ritsuka pulled back, shocked. "Soubi, it's three AM!" He insisted. Oh, he wasn't going to get out of this, not when Soubi had that _damn_ proud smirk on his face. That smirk told him that Soubi was going to do all he could to get Ritsuka to comply, even if he had to drag the boy out the door by the tail.

"I know. That'll just make it all the more fun."

Before he could get another word in, Soubi was wrapping a red scarf around his neck and giving him an oversized black hooded sweatshirt to wear and was dragging him out by the hand.

…

They were the only couple out that late at night, and mainly the only people out. Usually being out this late at night would scare him, but he had Soubi with him and each time someone suspicious would try to talk to Ritsuka, Soubi would grab them by the collar, growl at them and threaten them in a low voice and then the person who slink back, scared, and they would continue on their way. They walked around the city for a while, since it was the easiest place to go to. Their new apartment was right in the city, after all.

After a bit, they went into an all-night all-day fast food restaurant and the two of them harassed the idiot teenage cashier. Afterwards, they'd gone to a high-up shrine, even though neither believed in any sort of god. They'd gone inside, found it empty, and they'd looked through the scriptures and books for a while, never leaving each other's side. Then they'd sat out on the steps, Ritsuka's head on Soubi's shoulder, and watched the sunrise. Ritsuka didn't think they'd ever been so close

…

"Sou-chan," Kio called out, trying to get Soubi's attention. Soubi glanced up from his painting, slightly irritated about being interrupted. Soubi and Kio shared a studio downtown, though it was really more like _Ritsuka_, Soubi, and Kio shared the studio, since the boy was there almost every day. Ritsuka lounged on the full sized bed pushed up against the back wall, playing a game of cards with himself, since Soubi was too busy painting to play with him.

Kio had just walked in the door after two weeks of traveling to visit his family. Needless to say, Soubi was more than irritated at him for not calling first. In his opinion, Kio fully deserved the shock he got when he saw Soubi sitting on the floor with a pair of fully functional cat ears on his head and a fluffy tail curled on the floor beside him. Soubi smiled at him, asking him why he looked so shocked. Kio just stuttered and pointed at Soubi's ears. The tip of his tail twitched in happiness.

The previous night—and day, of course—had been amazing. The day before Ritsuka had given Soubi his virginity back, and then things had gotten heated between them, despite Soubi's attempts to keep things _mostly_ innocent between them. Ritsuka had put Soubi's worries to rest by asking him if it was alright and then letting him know that it was alright for Soubi to touch him, as well. As pathetic as it was, it had been Soubi's first enjoyable, good sexual encounter, and it was one he'd never forget. It made him smile even now to think about how gentle and caring the boy had been with him.

Still, though, when Soubi had unwillingly fallen asleep afterwards, the dreams of Seimei and (mainly) Ritsu had still haunted him and Soubi was convinced that they'd never leave him, no matter how much he willed them to. As much as he hated the nightmares, what came after always made him feel better. No matter how hard he tried to not wake the teen up, Ritsuka was always out of the bedroom moments after Soubi left. Last night, Ritsuka had sat up on the counter and apologized for getting so angry with him the previous week. He'd even let Soubi drag him out at three in the morning for a walk.

"You have… ears!" Kio shouted, looking as though he'd seen a ghost. Soubi just smiled and played innocent. He'd have to thank Ritsuka for giving him his ears again, though the boy wouldn't let him get close to him until he actually did some work. That was the only downside to Ritsuka coming to the studio with him—he couldn't seem to keep his hands off the boy.

When Soubi didn't say anything about his ears, Kio calmed down and Ritsuka headed into the kitchen to make something to eat. Soubi continued working, absorbed in thoughts about Ritsuka and how close they'd gotten the previous day, and not just because they'd finally crossed the line into a sexual-romantic relationship. He was happy, happier than he'd ever been. He never wanted anything to change, especially after Ritsuka had promised to never hurt him. Ritsuka wasn't ever one to break promises.

"Hey, Sou-chan," Kio was sitting beside him, sketching something out on paper. Soubi glanced at him, wondering if he was going to make another comment on his ears. Soubi hadn't taken the ears off since Ritsuka had given them to him. He'd taken the tail off, of course, so he could shower, but the ears had stayed on. That had seemed to make Ritsuka simply overjoyed. The boy probably had no idea what his gift meant to Soubi, but that was alright. He'd understand when he was a bit older and knew more about what happened when Soubi was young. He was too young, innocent, and naïve to realize why this made him so happy.

"What is it?"

"Ritsuka must've gotten those for you. You know that he got then at a sex shop, right?"

Soubi nearly choked, "_What_?"

…

A week later, things were going much better concerning Soubi's sleeping problems and Ritsuka tried his hardest not the jump to conclusions. He was changing, and was glad he realized that he needed to. If he hadn't he would've just ended up hurting Soubi again. It wasn't that he needed to be cautious, it was just that he needed to be less selfish and remember that Soubi had had a long, hard life and he was still healing from it. Forcing him into talking would do no good. It would only cause Soubi to drift away from him. In the last week while Ritsuka had been trying to be more selfless, they'd only grown closer and more comfortable with each other.

Soubi grabbed Ritsuka by the collar, yanking him over to him, smirking before leaning down to press their lips together. Ritsuka sighed, relaxing, though he knew if they did any more than this, they'd miss Soubi's optometrist appointment and then they'd be late to his doctor's appointment. Of course, Soubi thought he and Ritsuka were simply stopping at the game store before they went out at a nice place downtown. He had no idea Ritsuka was going to drag him to his third optometrist appointment of the year. He really, really hated having to drag Soubi to these things. He felt bad for forcing him, but not nearly as bad as he felt for making Soubi talk about his past.

"Soubi," Ritsuka pulled away before he could get into the kiss. Soubi had that sort of power over him. If he'd let the kiss go on any longer, they would've _never_ made it to either of the appointments. "We need to go."

"Alright," Soubi settled for holding his hand and leading him out the door. "I'll drive."

"No!" Ritsuka protested a little too quickly. "I'll drive. I need the hours so I can get my license."

Soubi looked down at him, his cat ears angling themselves in a way that told Ritsuka he was suspicious. Ritsuka's own ears flattened against his head, which was Ritsuka's obvious tell. Inside, even though he'd been found out, he was content. Ever since he'd told Soubi that he was going to change, everything seemed perfect, as if the problem that had been looming over their heads was solved at last and, as long as Ritsuka kept to his word, would never pop up again. And he was going to keep to his word. He understood they were going to have their little trivial arguments, but their first fight would be their last. Ritsuka, who'd been the one who caused the fight in the first place, was the one who was going to prevent them from fighting again.

Ritsuka glanced up at Soubi, and the older man smiled down at him as they headed out of the elevator and towards their car. Ritsuka wrapped an arm around Soubi's waist as they walked in into the half-deserted parking lot. Soubi's arm was around his shoulders, keeping him close. The darkness had already fell, surrounding the two virgins, one taller and older than the other. The streetlights illuminated the parking lot, and the light from the high rise buildings surrounding them, the artificial light reflected from the leftover puddles in the streets and sidewalk.

"On second thought…" Soubi began to say, looking around at the city surrounding them. "I think we should walk."

"That's a good idea," Ritsuka agreed. A walk would be nice. It would probably be easier to get Soubi to the optometrist office if they did. They may be a few minutes late for the appointment, but that was alright. A walk in the busy, noisy, lovely city would be worth it. They walked past their car, Soubi only letting go of Ritsuka for a moment while they waited for a walk signal in order to fix his scarf. Ritsuka let go of him, leaning up to kiss him and fixing the buttons on his coat.

"He used to hate the city," Soubi was looking up at the city again as they continued walking, holding each other again. The statement nearly made Ritsuka trip. Soubi had said it in a normal tone of voice, even though it sounded almost absent minded, as if he'd simply had the thought and had felt comfortable enough to say it. Needless to say, it had surprised him that Soubi had said it here, when they were walking through downtown Tokyo.

"Yeah," Ritsuka leaned his head on Soubi's side, glad that he really wasn't paying attention to where they were going. "He did."

"So did Ritsu," Soubi added in the exact same way he'd said the first statement. "He used to try his hardest to get out of taking me to the city every two weeks. Since it was a private school, we were allowed a day to go wherever we wanted every two weeks."

"You always chose to go to the city?" Ritsuka guessed. It had been Soubi's idea to move to the city and Ritsuka couldn't argue, since he'd lived near the city ever since he could remember. Seimei had always hated it, but, just like Soubi, Ritsuka loved the noise and the busyness of it all. It was exciting, thrilling, breathtaking.

Soubi laughed, which just surprised Ritsuka even more. This just proved Ritsuka's point. If Soubi felt comfortable enough, this is what would happen. He would talk. He would talk when there was no sort of pressure or no sort of forcing from Ritsuka's end.

"Yes, that's exactly where I'd want to go," Soubi smiled down at him. At that moment, everything felt right, as if they were the only two people in the city, even though there were a thousand other people out on the sidewalks that evening. The lights glittered around them, brighter and more neon-y since they'd entered the busiest part of Tokyo. It was even louder here, with shopkeepers yelling out to people, schoolgirls giggling, and music playing on the big screens on almost every skyscraper. Ritsuka's grip tightened around Soubi, not wanting to lose him if they were going to go into a crowd.

"I loved going to the city when I was a kid," Soubi went on, steering both of them away from the crowd and into a less crowded street. To the teen's relief, Soubi had taken them to a street on the way to the eye doctor's office. They walked on, Soubi still talking to a very interested Ritsuka, "When I got a little older, Ritsu let me run around the city by myself under the condition that I kept my phone on me. I got into a lot of trouble when I did, but he still let me do it. I guess it was easier than actually having to take care of me."

From what Ritsuka had just heard and from what he'd seen in the pictures, Soubi's childhood had not been good. It had _maybe_ been better before Soubi had been raped, but it still seemed like it hadn't been too good. He hadn't deserved that. No one deserved that. He was going to make this period of Soubi's life better. That was what he was counting on.

Suddenly, Ritsuka was brought back to reality when a couple of men looking to be about Soubi's age jeered at the man for still having his ears. Soubi just grabbed Ritsuka's hands and walked faster, leading him down the street. Ritsuka let him, knowing that Soubi was restraining himself. Soubi had always been quick to jump to violence (on strangers who made him angry or threatened Ritsuka; he never got violent with people close to him.) which was probably due to the way he'd been brought up and trained as a Fighter. Ritsuka didn't mind him threatening people who scared the teen, but he was glad that he was getting better at subduing the urge to get violent.

Soubi never seemed to change dramatically. From the day they'd met, Soubi had always had a temper that he often lost very quickly on strangers, though not quickly on people like Ritsuka, Kio, and the Zero boys. Ritsuka couldn't deny that he loved Soubi the way he was. If Soubi changed, Ritsuka didn't know what he'd do. Most people would like to change one or two things about their significant other. Not Ritsuka. He wouldn't change one thing about his beloved.

"Soubi, we have to turn here," Ritsuka pointed down a street. Their destination was right down the street.

"No," Soubi dropped back to a regular pace. He fake-pouted, letting Ritsuka know that he knew _exactly_ where they were going and probably had since they left the apartment. "I'm not going to see that optometrist again. My prescription is perfectly fine."

Well, maybe there was one _small_ thing he'd change about Soubi…

Laughing, Ritsuka wrapped an arm around Soubi's waist again, feeling the city's wind whip at both of them. To think, two weeks ago they'd been yelling and screaming at each other. Now, a changed teenager walked down the street, laughing with his boyfriend, both of them knowing a fight like that would never happen again. Ritsuka would never break his promise to Soubi. Soubi would never change. The last of their overhanging worries had been solved and now there was nothing that would come between them.

Finally succeeding in persuading Soubi to go to his doctor's appointments, the two backtracked their steps to the street they were supposed to turn on. Still smiling and laughing, the two virgins walked down the last street together, holding each other, both finally completely happy.

* * *

><p><strong>This is the end. There will be no more. Personally, I very much like the ending. <strong>

**Thanks to Starsforher, Lolita, LYRICA, CrapXhead, Yumiithecutie, promocat, Freya01, Ebony-S-White, Luckless-is-me, Kenn-chan, Tlcatlady, and Tamer Lorika for reviewing the previous chapter! I love to hear all your thoughts and feelings!**

**Review please!**

**~Wolfie**

**PS: new chapter of Healing soon ;)  
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